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A REAL STORY ABOUT RED HOOD


- Dear Judge! My name is Wolf and I’d like to tell You my terrible story. I’m sitting in prison, but I’m innocent.. You shouldn’t punish me! It’s unfair! I can proove it...

... Once upon a time, near my house, lived very sweet girl. Everybody called her Red Hood, because... Oh, Jurge! – You know that story!... Nevermind... She were wearing that silly, red hood all the time. Everybody loves her, because she were really good child – obedient, polite, lovely, honest... And I was so lonely...
One day her mother said:
- Red Hood! Go to your grandmother, please... She is ill and needs company.
- Oh Mom! I don’t want to... I’d rather watching cartoons...
- Red Hood, please...
- Did you understand? I won’t go!!!
- Oh, I’m pleading...
- DID YOU UNDERSTAND?!
Yes, she was so sweet... Mom were trying to send Red Hood to grandmother many
times, but she didn’t want to. And one day, girl spent all of her money and she decided to go to grandmother (maybe I shouldn’t say it here, but she took a bribe from mother...)

It was warm, sunny morning, when mother had given Red Hood a basket with cake, fruits and juice. Then she said:
- Look out, when you will going to your grandma. Don’t talk with strangers, OK.?
- You’re boring... OK, OK... – said Red Hood and went to the forest.

I were watching her, when she was walking between trees, to grandmother’s house.
She was singing, dancing and picking flowers. I wanted only talk with her... I thought, that she could be my friend. I’ve never had any friend. People think that I’m bad and dangerous, but truly – I’m vegetarian!
I said to Red Hood:
- Hi, Red Hood. How are you? I see, that you love forest.
- Thanks, I’m fine. Actually, I hate forest. It’ sorrowfull. But - you know – that’s a story for children. Ecology...
- Oh, yes... Would you like to be my friend?
- OK. But now I haven’t got any time. I must go to my grandmother.
- All right. But maybe we could meet later and play for example ball, or Scrable.
- You’re silly, but it could be interesting... I have to go. See you!

Then I thought, that I could do wonderful surprise for her and go to her grandmother. I
was thinking: “ Red Hood, grandmother and I will eat a cake, drink tea and maybe I will have two friends?... That’s wonderful idea!” And I started to run to grandma’s house.

When I was there, I knocked. There were no voice and I decided to go in.
- AAAAAAAAA! – I heared. It was grandmother. And in that moment started my large problems.
- Please, don’t screm. I’m friend of your grandchild. – I said.
- AAAAAAAAA! – she said.
- You don’t have to fear for me. I’m a good wolf.
- AAAAAAAAA!
- Shut up!

But she didn’t stop screaming... I hadn’t got any choice – I ate her. She wasn’t
delicious. Rather...hideous...

And than, came Red Hood. On the carpet was blood, on the wall was blood, on the windows was blood... Everywhere was blood! – even on my face!
- Did you eat my grandmother?...
- Yes... I did...
- Really??? Did you really eat my grandmother???
- Yes, I did. – I said. I felt horrible. I wanted to die...
- My dear friend! Thank you! I have been waiting for somebody like you for years! She drove me mad! Thank you! What can I do for you?
- Oh... You can be my friend.
- No problem.We can establish a gang. You can be... Osama bin Laden and I... will be Dolly Chuckie. All right?

And than to grandmother’s house encroach police. Everything was so fast. They
arrested me and now... I’m prisoner...

Now Judge can see, that I’m innocent. I didn’t want to kill grandma. It wasn’t my fault. Please, help me!...
- Oh, don’t cry. What, in your opinion, I should say Grimm’s brothers... Here, in prison, you can meet new friends - Winnie the Pooh (he stole honey) or Dumbo Elephant (he was flying to high). I’m sure, that they’ll be great friends...



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Komentarze (8) Brak komentarzy
12.1.2007 (16:20)

she were??
co to za konstrukcja?

27.7.2006 (12:20)

no nie da sie ukryc ze jest pare bledow ale widac ze autor ma naprawde swietne pomysly :D no i ze troche juz siedzi w tym engliszu :). TAk czy inaczej, 'you saved my ass nigga ;)'
W pełni zaslozona, mocna 5

27.7.2006 (12:20)

no nie da sie ukryc ze jest pare bledow ale widac ze autor ma naprawde swietne pomysly :D no i ze troche juz siedzi w tym engliszu :). TAk czy inaczej, 'you saved my ass nigga ;)'
W pełni zaslozona, mocna 5