Friendship

Friendship really is an unexplainable phenomenon. What makes people become friends? Why do you desperately try to be friends with one person but end up going nowhere? Why do you fight endlessly with another person but then end up best friends with that person? Why do some people upset you and so leave you wondering about your worth as a person? Why do others make you comfortable enough to laugh and cry and, at the same time, inspire you to be your best?

My friends and I share so many good times and bad times. We run errands, drop into fast-food restaurants for a quick bite, go for walks, watch movies, and play games. We also chat, share dreams and concerns, and grow together in our understanding of life. Yes, sometimes we misunderstand each other, get impatient with one another, rub each other wrong, break each other's trust, and hurt each other so badly that we think we will never forgive one another. Yet through all the downs, if we learn to care then our friendship endures like a flower that withers in winter and blooms again in spring. When that happens, we know that we have a found a friend that will hold a place in our heart forever -no matter how many miles there are between us and no matter how many years there have been since we last met. And, if we're fortunate enough, we might even find a friend or two with whom we can grow old because friends make life complete.

What is a true friend? Often, I have struggled to understand what makes one person there, truly, more than the next. We all go through life with different people by our sides at different times in our lives. But some people distinguish themselves. They are true friends.
There are times in all of our lives when we need the comfort and solace of someone who understands completely, and for some reason, continues to help us when we are at our worst, perhaps even exhausting them.
To me, a true friend understands. Not the kinds that say they will be there for you and then are purposely. They are the kinds that say they’ll be there, then are, and amaze you with how devoted they really are.

In time of crisis you find out who your real friends are. It’s not to say that those who are not there for you in these bad times are not good people or good friends. But you get to see their true dedication and moral character when you face adversity.
But your real, true, friends are the ones who come through with flying colors, when you do not even have to ask. There is something magical about the bonds of true friendship. Though you may not have many kinds of these people in your life, be thankful for the ones who are there. The people in our lives are a blessing.

When going through rough times, don’t expect everyone to understand—you will just be let down more if they do not. Reach out to your friends if you want them to understand, and give them the opportunity to help. (They aren’t mind readers!)
If you do not find someone to understand, you know that the person has not defined themselves in your eyes as the kind of person who will be there through thick and thin.

You can still value people in your life who are not “till the end” friends. These people have just as much to offer, and it should be said that each person in your life is there for a reason. If a friend just does not get the idea that you need him or her, try and understand what that person is going through, or how they view the relationship. Don’t be afraid to confront your friend to see if everything is okay. And most of all, don’t expect everyone to run to your aid. Everyone is busy with his or her own lives.
Rest assured, however, you will find a friend who will be there for you, and you will never truly be alone. Open your eyes to the people in your life and look for someone who you can depend on.

Most of all return the favor! When someone goes out on the line for you, you should do the same. Thank the friend(s) who have helped you through rough times and let them know how much you appreciate all they have done, and who they are.
Why do some friendships end, no matter how much you want them to last?
My simple answer is that friendships end because the situations friends are in or even the friends themselves change. First, the situations friends face may change. The decision to relocate for a new school or job can’t help but affect a friendship. Likewise, if a friend is in an accident, develops an illness, or loses someone close, these situations can’t help but affect a friendship. Does a friendship need to end because of these changes? No, but it’ll require adjustments that one or both friends might not be willing to make.

Second, the friends themselves may change. A significant reason that friendships often end when friends are apart for an extended period of time (for summer camp, college, etc) is that one or both of the friends change. I think it hurts less when both friends change, because then the breakup is more often mutual and so both friends get closure by both deciding to let go and move forward in their lives without each other. What tends to hurt most is when just one friend changes. One friend might change social circles, become involved in new social organizations, start to date, get a pet, or take on some other venture that consumes more time and passion. Again, a friendship can endure these changes, unless one or both of the friends for some reason decide not to invest the time and energy involved in the adjustment period. (For example, one friend might forget the importance of the friendship due to the high of having a new pet or might feel that the change is impossible to overcome when one gets married but the other is still single.) In this situation, breakups may not be mutual and so one or both friends feel betrayed and end up with bitter memories about what was a precious friendship to them.