A real Narrow Escape

It was a hot day on the east coast of Ireland. The sun was coming down slowly changing the whole sky from blue to pink. Everywhere you could smell fresh air coming just from the sea.

Bronco and his friend The Dodge from a very popular music group H2, were walking on a sandy beach near Dublin. The gold sand and foamy tides were tickling and washing their naked feet. Above them sea-gulls were “screaming” and looking for food. In the distance they could see some people riding on horses and the homeless going asleep, remembering themselves words from Monthy Pythons’ song: “Always look on the bright side of life”.

Despite the fact that the day was ending, for Bronco and The Dodge it was just a beginning of a terrible horror. They were unaware that this day would always remain in their minds.
Bronco and Dodge were talking about their new single “Discopolotquake”.
“Bronco, your voice sounds delightful in our new song”. Dodge said.
“And the way you play the guitar…Oh...it makes me dizzy!”. Bronco whispered to Dodge ear.

However, their carelessness didn’t last long. Suddenly, opposite them appeared a group of naked women holding sharp knives. When the two men saw angry but very beautiful women, their panties were full of shit. When the nudists saw Bronco and The Dodge, they started to chase them. The two men were frightened and began to run. They only wanted to escape.

But the women were getting closer and closer. Moreover, one of them wanted to hit Bronco, but he was able to dive out of the way, and only centimeters prevented him from the deadly strike. As soon as the first women attacked, other fallowed her and also started to hit. But their sharp knives couldn’t reach the two men. As they were running another group of angry women appeared. Immediately, Bronco and The Dodge were surrounded by the women. They fell on the ground. The knives and angry faces were closing. One of the women hit Dodge. He screamed for help but his voice only echoed in the air. Soon another women hit Bronco, straight into his back. He pulled his hands up and shouted: “Jesus save me!”. But nobody could hear them. The men lost consciousness. The women draw them, leaving on the sand bloody spots.

The Dodge woke up first. His memories were unclear. He only remembered knives and a huge pain. He looked around, but he saw only black walls. Beside him there was Bronco, who was lying on the side. Dodge could see his wound bleeding. He wanted to reach him but his hands and legs were tied. A couple of minutes later Bronco also woke up.

“Are you all right?”. Dodge asked Bronco. “Does it look as if everything was all right ?!”. Bronco asked. Suddenly the door opened and white light filled the room. The men saw the same women as on the beach. They came in, but instead of knives, they had long, huge axes. The two friend felt very scared. They had never seen such big weapons in the hands of so beautiful and in the same time naked women. They didn’t know what to do. They lost any hope, and couldn’t believe that this was their end. The women were closing. One of them spared at Bronco and hit between his legs. Another one was preparing to strike at Dodge head. When Bronco and The Dodge were waiting for death, all of a sudden some other two men appeared with circular-saws. There were… Us!

-Heh ??? (narrator says)
-Yes! US! You forgot about us. The other members of H2!
Oh! Yes! The two other men were: Larry Muller and Adam Clayweed. The women were amazed. They couldn’t move, so the two men started to saw. It was a bloody fight. One of the cutters cut ones’ women head another one leg, arm, breast etc. It took a couple of minutes. When all the naked ones’ were killed, Bronco and The Dodge felt relief. Larry and Adam released the other men and walked out on the bleeding and naked bodies.
They were free.

EPILOGUE

A couple of days later the whole four was drinking beer in the pub.
“You’ve done a great job!” Bronco tapped Adam on the shoulder
“What?” Adam asked casually.
“You know, about the rescue” Dodge repeated.
“What are you saying?!” Larry exclaimed. “We only came because this stupid narrator, forgot to mention me and Adam. That’s why. And what is this ?! This beer tastes awful, like a water in my toilet. Ugh! And what’s that smell?! Like my grandmothers’ breath.

FINE